Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
