Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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