Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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