I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
