Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
