I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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