you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize