No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Are we still banned from the library?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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