I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
