Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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