she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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