I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize