Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
