They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
