giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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