His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
