Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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