plz talk dirty to me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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