Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
