I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
