This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize