The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
