This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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