Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize