ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
