i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why is there bacon in the couch?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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