is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
