Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We just shotgunned beers for America
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
