Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
