so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
