Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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