She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
