Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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