Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
