at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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