his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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