I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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