Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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