people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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