she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
