all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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