i just had sex bonerless
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
