yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
