I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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