I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize