Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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