dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
