dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
