I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
worst night to have a conscience
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
