how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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