I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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