Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
