every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
