sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
