There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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