dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
