i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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