Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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