Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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