Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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