and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
