Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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