no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize