she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
handjob tips. give me some.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
