I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
