so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
