I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We smell like vodka and hangover
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
