I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
