Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
