kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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