ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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