Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
