Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
