Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
