hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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