I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize