He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize