I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
